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Can Men be Faithful?

  1. I've been told by a lot of guys that every married man cheats. Is this really true? Is it possible for a man to remain faithful to his wife, especially in this day and age?

    The blog I need help with is missmeddle.wordpress.com.

  2. It's very possible. The man just has to not be an asshole, though I understand that is a rare thing. And it helps if he actually likes his beau.

  3. Yes. Don't put up with one who isn't. No point being married if you don't feel a connection.

  4. Of course they can. I'm not entirely convinced they ought to be. It's unwise to expect it to be accomplished easily by young people because it goes against their biological imperatives. It's important to be honest with your partner if you do become involved with others. Deceit hurts more than discovering your partner became attracted to another and acted upon it. It's also a health issue. I'm not a big fan of marrying before your 30s.

  5. I've never cheated, never will. Plenty of women have cheated on me, so the other sex are just as bad.

  6. Hmm...thanks for sharing your views :-)

  7. phoenixtearsheal
    Member

    They are very faithful -
    to cars; sport; and dinner :D

  8. As long as your faithful to the kitchen and the bedroom then there's no problem :P

  9. @dovesgold, Oh, come on!
    @ardpete, sexist much? :-P

  10. Of course they can be faithful. Anyone who says everyone cheats are only saying that to excuse their own bad behavior. Cheating is a choice. And from my observations women are no better than men when it comes to remaining faithful. Should we expect it, that is up to the individual. I expect it. And so I am faithful. Of course it helps that i am still madly in lust with my husband.

  11. Agree with ardpete - us women can be just as bad if nto worse. Your ability to be faithful or not has nothing to do with your gender.

    So yes, I think men can be faithful - and women too.

  12. @wisheswereriches, aww...that's so sweet!
    @readytochangenow, I'm not saying fidelity is tied to gender. It's just that a lot of the time, men say that they are "biologically programmed" to be polygamous and I've always wondered about that.

  13. Lol what men are you talking to?

  14. Sounds like you aren't really asking a question then - you are stating a fact. :-)

  15. dysfunctionalliteracy
    Member

    Ladies, if you want to keep your men faithful, here's what you do.

    Feed the man enough so that he gets fat. Nag the man so much that he goes bald. Spend all the money so that he's broke and can't afford to go out carousing.

    If you can make your man fat, bald, and broke, you force him to be faithful.

    Men, if you want to keep your women faithful, just... uh... be a good listener?

  16. Buy her a new iron every six months and lower her self esteem by telling her she looks fat in everything is what I think you mean :P

  17. @ardpete, Married men who're coming on to me! :-( So a new iron makes your woman happy?! She is weird beyond belief.
    @readytochangenow, I just want to have renewed hope in men, relationships & marriage.
    @dysfunctionalliteracy, Fat + bald + broke = sad. I'll have none of that, thank you.

  18. Nah my woman doesn't iron. She's one of them equal opportunity people

  19. @missmeddle - I don't think you find that in a forum; but best of luck.

  20. its possible just very rare...

  21. @missmeedle
    I'm going to respond to this

    "biologically programmed" to be polygamous

    It's my opinion that we are all witness to:
    (1) both male and female youth being polygamous;
    (2) in the case of females, monogamy becomes increasingly more attractive as pregnancy occurs or is likely to occur;
    (3) in the case of both males and females, monogamy becomes more attractive with age;
    (4) serial monogamy has become the status quo in our society, as 6 of every 10 marriages end within a decade of registration, and on average common law relationships only last a few years longer.

    There does not seem to be an indication in history that monogamy is "natural" or "normal" among youth. The indication is the opposite. Polygamy during youth appears to be the species "norm" and probably always has been. Multiple pairings insured that the gene pool was large and the species was robust. Pragmatically speaking monogamy is the societal and religious solution to unwanted and uncared for children and unwanted and uncared for elders.

    Marriages based on couples falling in love and voluntarily choosing to be bound to one another is not an ancient tradition. It's relatively new. In some regions, marriage amounted to stealing a woman from another tribe. when Jesus was alleged to have walked the streets of Palestine polgyny (one man or means having multiple wives) was very common.

    Historically, marriage usually amounted to a patriarch of one family negotiating and eventually handing over his chattel (daughter), and a dowry to the son of a patriarch of another family with whom he had negotiated the "settlement". Look deeper still and we find the traditional practice in marriage was an older man being gifted with a "child bride".

    Who your father is was a guessing game until DNA testing became was developed. When we carefully explore the roots of the monogamous model that it would all revolve around paternity, power and position. After all was said and done in ancient societies who your father was as well as his power and position in society was where his offspring drew their social position from. And using Paris Hilton as a present day example that hasn't changed much, has it?

    In ancient societies fathers had to provide for their daughters (and any off-spring they produced) until they gifted them away as "child brides" to other old men. Obviously female virginity became a desirable commodity that a father could use when bartering away his chattels.

    Without doubt paternalism is the root of the double standard.Those who are members of and who support paternalistic organizations today are loathe to look the evidence. Traditional marriage had nothing to do with two young people falling in love. Old men in paternalistic societies possessed of power and position were gifted with child brides of friends and/or business associates and/or even family members and/or men in positions of power in other countries for the purposes of establishing alliances. Given the societal constructs women had no say when it came to who their father or male relatives would choose to marry them off to, and in fact that is still the case for many women today. So the tradition, which still endures in some locations amounted to one old man handing off a child bride to another old man.

    As the monogamous model revolves around paternity, power and position, in some areas, the "Laird" (Lord) traditionally possessed the right to deflower all virgins before they were and sent off to their husbands. Using the European example virile and powerful men were expected to have at least one mistress but were likewise expected to maintain the family "honor".

    It is women who have been historically expected to remain monogamous so the paternity, power and position model could not be upended.

    When I hear anyone professing that monogamous marriage has always been a "traditional" model of a man and a woman in love agreeing to spend their lives together I laugh out loud, stand my ground and invite them to bring it!

    I have yet to be convinced by arguments to the effect of humans being naturally monogamous. IMO it's simply a paternalistic social power, position and money construct that has been used for millenniums the world over to keep women and children "in line", to insure that elders were cared for, and to insure that the will of patriarchs with regard to disposition of their estate following their demise continued beyond the grave.

  22. *applause*

  23. Cheating is stupid. I hate to sound like I'm bragging, but the girls I usually choose to get into relationships with are beautiful, intelligent, funny and sexually active. I've never had a reason to cheat.

  24. phoenixtearsheal
    Member

    @ missmeddle :D
    it was my first forum joke.

  25. @dovesgold

    And a fine one it was.

  26. phoenixtearsheal
    Member

    @ R.T.C. lol :)
    yay my first funny :D
    I'll end up with a sense of humour if I carry on like this!

  27. Lol! Your second funny. You're a regular *insert female comedians name*!

  28. phoenixtearsheal
    Member

    Oh now I have to go lie down
    it's all too much....
    swoons with the worry of it all....

    :)

  29. @timethief, thank you for doing all that research and sharing hard facts with us, but please, answer me this: which would you choose for yourself; a "traditional" polygamous arrangement, or the more fulfilling, logical monogamy that simply feels RIGHT?
    Go, @danielsfunny. Yay!
    @dovesgold, yes, we're all very proud of you... (yawn) :-P
    @ardpete, don't encourage her, please :-D

  30. *Backing away slowly so the flames don't burn me*

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