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Hey, could use some thoughts or other opinions

  1. Hey there. My blog is a snapshot of how I think and an entirely honest profile of how I write. I'm trying to get some feedback on my writing style, so if you were to be so obliging, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks :)

    The blog I need help with is justsomecollegekid.wordpress.com.

  2. I like your short paragraph pieces and poetry a lot better than your long paragraph posts. You have a tendency to come across as emotionally remote when you go on for too long.

  3. Thanks so much!

  4. moved to Off Topic…

  5. I agree that shortening paragraphs will make it easier to read. I often abandon reading something if I have to reread it multiple times.

    In addition, I think that you need to get out of your head a bit. In reading the post, "Isolation," it's difficult to visualize what you are saying on first read. You obviously have a strong vocabulary, but sometimes, using smaller words and more concise thoughts are the best ways to get your point across.

    Try reading out loud to figure out where you might be able to take out superfluous words or phrases. Such language works well in poetry but not always in prose.

  6. I don't feel an emotional connection when I read your blog. Often, one word is enough to describe how you feel.

    Fuck.

  7. Establishing an emotional position isn't commonly a high priority, I enjoy taking a topic and exploring it, wherever that may lead me. I do understand that my writing is a bit dense, this is not intentionally, I write as I think. Thank you so much for the feedback.

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