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Joke of the day!

  1. A man was shouting: Dear google don't behave like my wife.
    Let me complete my sentence before giving suggestions. :)

    The blog I need help with is itspak.wordpress.com.

  2. Knock knock.

  3. Who's there?

  4. Snow.

  5. Snow who?

  6. Snow business like Show Business. :D

  7. And today's joke "girls have brain"

  8. We know there are physical differences between a boy's brain and a girl's, both at birth and as children grow. But at least for now, exactly how those differences affect behavior, personality, and so on is a mystery. For example, scientists say there probably is an area of the brain that propels many boys toward things that move and many girls toward nurturing, but it has yet to be identified. There are many studies that clearly demonstrate that “differences are greater with the sexes than between them”. Girls do tend to out perform boy in intellectual pursuits and eventually most boys but not all do tend to catch up with the girls. And while girls do produce female hormones such as estrogen, these seem to have little impact on their developing brains. In other words, girls have the brain that boys would have if theirs weren't reshaped by testosterone.

  9. Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
    A: To stamp out fires.

    Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
    A: To stamp out burning ducks

  10. That was only a joke. "Active brain" I should had to say.

  11. I failed to find any humor in what you first posted or in the chnage you made in your second comment.

  12. A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist.

    The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home.

    He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.

    The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife.

    Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

    "The funeral director," said his wife.

  13. :) hahaha

  14. Police constable to a prisoner: You'll be hanged at 5 AM this morning.
    Prisoner after raising a laughter replied I wake up at 12 PM.

  15. phoenixtearsheal
    Member

    Not sure if this can be classed as a joke but
    it sure made me laugh a lot when I read it -
    WARNING Do not read it if you are easily offended -

    http://soulwritings.wordpress.com/2012/01/28/another-groaner-or-giggle-and-a-thought-for-today/

  16. Hey Dave I wasted my time in reading that article like you.

  17. Check your religion at the door:

    Jesus dies and goes up to Heaven. The first thing he does is look for his father, as he has never met the man before and is curious as to what he looks like, and whether or not Jesus looks like his mother or father, etc. He looks high and low but cannot find him. He asks St. Peter "Where is my father?" But St. Peter says he doesn't know. He asks the archangel Gabriel "Where is my father?" But Gabriel doesn't know. He asks John the Baptist "Where is my father?" But John does not know. So he wanders Heaven, impatiently searching.

    Suddenly he sees out of the mist an old man coming toward him. The man is very old, with white hair, stooped over a little. "Stop!" Jesus yells. "Who are you?"

    "Oh, please help me, I am an old man in search of my son." Jesus is very curious. Could this be his father? "Tell me of your son, old man."

    "Oh, you would know him if you saw him. Holes in his hand where the nails used to be, he was nailed to a cross, you know..."

    "Father!" Screams Jesus.

    "Pinocchio!" yells the old man.

  18. :)

  19. phoenixtearsheal
    Member

    @ T.T. lol :D
    Took a while but I found a joke :)
    here it is -
    http://springjokeblog.com/2011/12/25/joke-simple-things-made-complicated/

  20. I liked it! :D

  21. sock puppets? is hnsaifi itspak & iphonist1

    @ghost
    I'm a co author to her blog. I'm not hosted here as an owner of the blog
    Regards Hamza Niaz Saif (hnsaif).

  22. The pain of losing a beloved person is nothing when compared with the pain that is felt when

    Biscuit falls into tea due to over dipping. :p

  23. readytochangenow
    Member

    Trollucinations: When a Troll accidentally eats bad mushrooms or gets a high fever they sometimes see things that are not there.

  24. A lady to a beggar: I've seen you somewhere but can't remember where.
    Beggar: O ma'm you forgot.........

    We are friends on Facebook :) .

  25. A person was filling a form to apply for a job.
    He saw a blank for "Salary Expected"
    After thinking for an hour what to be filled in it. He wrote "Yes".

  26. Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
    To see his flat mate. :-)

  27. Don't whistle at the girl coming out of a beauty parlor. She can be your grandmother. :)

  28. Q: What's the difference between an epileptic oyster-shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?

    A: One shucks between fits.

  29. Oh man lol :)

  30. A man is attempting to mend an oven. At the same time another man is about to take his first sky dive.
    The gas oven explodes sending the man rocketing into the sky. At the same time sky diver is having parachute problems.
    They meet one flying up the other spiralling down
    "do you know anything about gas ovens?" shouts one. "no" shouts the other, "Do you know anything about parachutes?" :-)

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