@lettershometoyou - I am almost glad there is no link on your ID.........
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Joke of the day!
I wrote this :P,
Often Criminals don't Realize the Intensity of their Crime for a Simple and Cheesy Fact that 'You cannot smell SHIT if you happen to be in Toilet for too Long'
Another one.. I did not write this though,
A drunk was hauled into court. “Mister,” the judge began, “you’ve been brought here for drinking.” “Great,” the drunk exclaimed, “When do we get started?”
His username is temporarily inactive :) Still you can go to his blog clicking "inactive".
Joke: A question was asked on October 4, 2011 and answered in February 28, 2012
A conservative, a liberal, and a moderate walked into a bar.
The bartender said, "Hi, Mitt!"
Not my joke, but I like it.
This is an hilarious look at men as meatballs -
I wish I were able to shot it.
Today when I was taking bath a sparrow bird happened to come into the bathroom. She (or maybe he not sure lol :D) started making noise on the shade of the window. It looked as she was trying to lift something heavy or desperately in fact offensively beaking something hard. I thought there would be a wall lizard there, that's why I didn't bother to see up upon the window. Cause I didn't want to have nausea seeing a wounded lizard.(Eeeh) So I keep her away from there but she came again. I flew her away and she came back. This happened 4 or 5 times. I was much curious at her strange behavior. And I thought she to be a naughty bird who came to see me. After taking bath I saw what was there on the shade of window, I saw a pocket mirror was there up upon the window and she was probably kissing herself. :) lol.
I don't get it.
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.
"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!".
Man in court- 'As God is my judge your honour, I am not guilty'
Judge- 'He isn't, I am, you are......ten years'
Lol double LOL :)
Student: I don't think I deserved zero on this test.
Teacher I agree but it's the lowest mark I could give you.
1st Drunk "What have you got in that sack?'
2nd Drunk " Hedgehogs"
1st Drunk "If I can guess how many hedgehogs in the sack, will you give me one?"
2nd Drunk "If you guess right I'll give you both of 'em"
Once upon a time, there was a non-conforming sparrow that decided not to fly south for the winter.
However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time, ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a farmyard, almost frozen. A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by, and hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds.
The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird, and promptly ate him!
The moral of the story:
1. Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2. Everyone who gets you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend.
3. And, if you're warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut!
The below mentioned act is performed by the highly trained persons and qualified professionals, so please don't try this at home.
An Arab saw a very sexy girl in a bar. He sent her an expensive bottle of whisky.
She looked at the bottle and sent a note:
"For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, 50 millions in bank and 7 inches in your pant."
The man replied,
"I've four Mercedes and have got over 120 millions in the bank, BUT give my bottle back because just for you, I'll never cut off the three extra inches."
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.
An archeologist is the best husband a woman can have;
The older she gets, the more interested he is in her :D
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