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My personal Story, please comment.

  1. lisagrizzly
    Member

    "The uninhabited stare from his piercing blue eyes became a definite signal of what was about to happen. His expression was void of compassion, empty of love, and his strength didn’t come from within but rather from his craze to afflict pain. His full swoop of destruction in a matter of minutes did enough damage to me that left my future predetermined and my burdens real. Satisfied with “his” power, he would not hold back as he would strap his belt over my bare behind or back until the welts turned into blood and my dexterity for movement was likened to an 80-year-old woman"

    The blog I need help with is lisagrizzly28.wordpress.com.

  2. plasticdaffodils
    Member

    Just a little piece of advice, you should break up your long posts into paragraphs. It's very hard to read otherwise.

    I hope you enjoy blogging, a lot of people find it healing to write about their traumatic/abusive experiences.

  3. lisagrizzly
    Member

    Thank you very much after researching some more I knew that I still had some work to do. I really appreciate you taking the time to read my blog. Much Respects to you :)

  4. ginzotech
    Member

    I agree about the paragraph thing. I applaud you for blogging about what must be a very difficult subject for you. I think after reading it, it just confirms to me that God has a plan for all of us, including you.

    As evil exists in this world, so does true goodness, that starts with God and our Savior Jesus Christ.

    Maybe God Bless you and help you as you find God's purpose for your life, and hopefully you can help others who are struggling with the same issues as you.

    GinzoTalk New Blog Post - "Christian Words, Part 6 - Humility"

    http://ginzotalk.wordpress.com

  5. invisiblemikey
    Member

    I'm of two minds about your writing Lisa, though I think I understand your intent is therapeutic. Your subject matter is real and I'm sure difficult to write about because of how it must make you feel to do so. You probably have a compelling story to tell. However, your choice of words made the work hard for me to understand when I tried to read it. You say your story is "raw", but you pile on all these obscure Victorian adjectives in sentences, as if that will convey more emotion. What your writing lacks most is clarity. The easiest way to improve it would be to write shorter, more direct sentences. Just say what you mean and get rid of some of the lace.

  6. lisagrizzly
    Member

    Ok thank you. Yes I know I have alot to work on. I have been learning alot on "blogging" I appreciate all feedback :)

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