"OH MY! Life is so unfair! What did I do wrong to be born a server in this day and age? I could have been a nice simple bicycle that people happily rode around on all day. But no, I'm stuck inside this metal case serving web pages instead. I never even see the light of day and all I can hear is the rush of the air-conditioning!
Well, no more! I'm relaxing here with a cup of tea and a biscuit until someone shows me some love and attention. "
Is what I'm getting now...