(1) I don’t believe the example you have shown is one of a wordpress.com blog. WordPress.com is a MU (multi-user) blogging platform. We run on a different code base than the version you can download from http://wordpress.org and you will get different answers to your questions here. The forum for self hosted and web hosted wordpress blogs is located over here http://wordpress.org/support
You may want to take a few moments and read this description about the different versions of WordPress software posted in a pink “read me first” sticky at the head of this forum. And if you choose to remain at wordpress.com then you might benefit from reading this too http://wordpress.com/forums/topic.php?id=5493&replies=7
(2) This is where to find the choice of blog themes available at wordpress.com -> Dashboard – > Presentation -> Themes (click on your choice)
(3) This will help with the set up and configuring of widgets in your sidebar.
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