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Life changing-husband is gay

  1. I am hoping this blog proves to be cathartic as I make major transitions in my life; getting divorced from my gay husband, trying to complete my degree, and my plan to have gastric bypass surgery this summer. My first post is about telling the kids. Feedback welcome and appreciated.

    The blog I need help with is

  2. I do wish you both well. Sexual orientation by itself isn't much of a reason for divorce, but I expect you have other reasons more valid.

  3. Thanks for the feedback. I disagree that sexual orientation is not a valid reason for divorce. As long as we are tied to each other, we are unable to obtain authentic relationships with anyone else. We have been together since we were teens and this issue has absolutely affected our lives, our relationship, and my own self worth. He was brave enough to come out, I am strong enough to stand on my own and we will both be better for it.

  4. invisiblemikey

    Quite right. I should not have said invalid. I should have said insubstantial, though obviously it's a big deal for you.

    There are thousands and thousands of LGBT people who are married to a person of the opposite gender for excellent reasons like access to health insurance, ability to co-parent and adopt children in states where laws restrict non-heterosexuals, tax advantages, and avoidance of job and housing discrimination. It's truly a shame anyone would feel the need to live a closeted life, but as long as there are places in this country where being out can still get you killed there will be those who marry for safety as well.

    Of course people with different sexual orientations and identifications can deeply love and care for each other, that's been going on as long as marriage has existed, but not everyone can adapt to living together in harmony under the same roof. I'm sorry you couldn't work it out.

  5. I agree with your thoughts and realize that there are many families who are chosing a different path, for very valid reasons. We life in a very red state, and I do have concerns about what this means for our future. I mainly decided to blog, because so many of the sites I found online are full of negative people who are angry with their ex spouse. I wanted to tell the other side, that we can end the marriage but remain a family.

  6. invisiblemikey

    That's good to hear. If that's what you both want and work toward, I know you can get there.

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