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Searching for some constructive criticism

  1. Hello All,

    Searching for some constructive criticism.

    Please have a look and provide feedback

    The blog I need help with is

  2. plasticdaffodils

    You have an About page, but you don't have anything on it. Use it to tell us a bit about yourself and what your blog is all about. Also, you should use tags on your posts, like "poetry," which will help you get more hits. Good luck!

  3. invisiblemikey

    Your blog reads as if you are typing out the words to different raps. The rhythms and rhymes are often quite clever, but the fact that you don't follow normal punctuation rules makes it more difficult to read in text form, and that diminishes some of the power of your word choices.

    I think your material would be much more effective as spoken hip-hop poetry, and viewing it that way I think you are very, very talented. Get yourself to a recording studio and start laying down beats.

  4. It definitely works more as a kind of hip-hop poetry as invisiblemikey says. I don't think the latest posts are difficult to read. But, if people are expecting a traditional essay-form blog like most blogs here are, then I can understand his point.

    But I also agree that you might have a good niche reading these out loud at a poetry reading or something. Stuff like that I think is more effective when heard than read.

    Good job though.

  5. kennethmarkhoover

    Yeah, you should definitely have some bio information on your About page.

  6. Thanks for the feedback. The goal is spoken hip-hop poetry not sure if I have the chops to record but hey you never know. Really appreciate this. Also how do you over come writer's block? For me it's coming up with that first line that is killer for me, any thoughts?

    @invisiblemikey What would be the normal punctuation rules?

  7. Here is a guide for creating an About page. Why About Pages are Essential

  8. Also how do you over come writer's block?

    There are 11 approaches you can use here > Blogging Through Writer’s Block

  9. invisiblemikey

    I absolutely believe you have the chops to record. The second I tried saying it aloud it made me feel more than when I tried to read it.

    Much of the power of hip-hop (and all variations of both that and other kinds of spoken poetry) is in being able to evoke emotion from effective combinations of word choices made for the sake of meaning, paired with simultaneous creation of rhythms made by the sound patterns - regardless of meaning. Tension and release, like sex, like jazz, like most music actually. I understand it and appreciate it, but you can actually DO it. You ARE doing it. That's talent (the gift). The rest is just practice, so you can do it better, faster, cleaner, as work for hire, on any theme - and all that is "craft".

    Craft is how you get through writer's block. You do your ritual, practice regularly, make the time to do it a priority, and take care of your body so your channels stay clear. It's easy to produce when inspired. It's what you do when not inspired that makes you a real artist. A block is a boulder, and it's your job to push it up that hill, knowing you will never make it, and choosing to do it anyway. It's an act of faith.

    My use of the word normal (regarding punctuation) was a quick way of saying "whatever makes it easier to read on the page". Because what makes poetry work is often in the tension/release created by meanings that go with, then against rhythm, it may not work as well on the page as on the stage. But that was my misunderstanding of your intent as a writer, not your failing. Poetry has no normal, except for the need to choose words and to express the artist's goal. I'm a terrible poet myself. My right and left brain live in different houses and never show up at each other's parties.

    I'm an analyst, an editor. That's how my brain works, but it's also why I can explain and qualify art I don't have the talent to produce.

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