I believe you will have your needs met by hiring a web host and setting up your own WordPress.org install. That’s because we have code restrictions here at WordPress.com. We do not have FTP access and cannot install plugins.
See here for the comparison http://support.wordpress.com/com-vs-org/
WordPress.com and WordPress.org have different log-ins and run different versions of themes with same names. If you don’t have a username account at WordPress.ORG click http://wordpress.org/support/ and register one on the top right hand corner of the page that opens, so you can post to the support forums there and receive advice from WordPress.ORG bloggers.
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